The Power of Networking

The power of networking.  No matter where you are on the 1-10 scale, many business experts agree and evidence shows that networking is becoming the

number one way to accomplish goals.  Networking is typically the best way to market a business, find clients, find a job, raise funds for charity, make friends or even to find romance!  It’s a great way to reduce research and “cold-calling” and can lead to door-opening introductions, new ideas, collaborations and unexpected new opportunities.

What is networking, anyway? Many envision walking into a Chamber of Commerce with 100+ people or association meetings or other scheduled events with lots of strangers.  For some it’s attending a social mixer where people make small talk and tolerate the evening, waiting to leave after they get their quota of business cards in their pocket.

What are your challenges to networking?

What are your challenges to networking? Perception and unwritten rules contribute to creating uncomfortable obstacles to this powerful activity.  Some worry about how to start (and end) conversations, what to say, if they are interesting enough, and have a fear of rejection.  Many believe they have to be an extrovert to succeed, must impose on others, or force a sales pitch on those they meet.  That’s not very inviting.  That dirty oven is looking more and more appealing, right?

Let the reframing begin! Let’s start by redefining your characterization of networking and rules you’ve heard or made up about networking.  Try on my definition for a moment. “Networking is connecting with like-minded people for the greater good.”  It’s making new acquaintances and going deeper with existing relationships for the sake of a common objective.  Now stop reading a moment.  Do you feel a shift in your attitude about networking with this new definition? Think about your motivation to network.  What information, resources or help might you need to make an improvement in some area of your life? What if connecting with other people helped you get there sooner?  What if it was easy?!

10 obstacle-busting tips and new rules.  Here are some tips and philosophies to help you start your own obstacle transformation now!  And, yeah, you’ll detect a smidgen of spirituality mixed in.  Notice the guidelines that speak the most to you and write them down to incorporate in your next encounter. 

1. Make an assumption that everyone is special.  Be curious and make it your goal at a networking event to find out one unique thing about each person you meet.
2. Some people fear they won’t be interesting enough. To be interesting, be genuinely interested in others.  They will feel and appreciate your attention and will be drawn to you.
3. Be generous and other-oriented. Listen and ask to determine people’s needs and see how you can be a resource or connector. Give first vs. being out to “get” something.  Give without expecting anything in return. 
4. Keep in mind a mental shopping list of all the things you need in your life.  Perhaps you need a new plumber, a recommendation on a computer, a new client, ideas for a great vacation spot.  See everyone you meet as an opportunity to learn.
5. Start conversations comfortably in 2 easy steps.  1) Say hello.  2) Find out what you have in common.  To start, you are both human beings at the same point and time on the planet!  “Are you at this group for the first time?” “Do you know the bride or the groom at this wedding?”  “Are you a friend of the host of this party?”
6. Be prepared to ask powerful questions that move past small talk, one of the things people think networking must include. Ask, “What is most important to you?” about a topic you are discussing.  Imagine how authentic you will feel if you ask, “What is your greatest satisfaction in your work?”
7. Be unattached to the outcome.  Define your own idea of success at a networking event and make it fun and easy, like saying hello to at least 3 people, having 1 meaningful conversation, asking 1 person for something you need.
8. Rename “networking” and toss out that term and all your old limiting beliefs and rules.  Call it “connecting.”
9. Here's a shocker. You don’t have to attend another networking event again! This is great news if you are shy or introverted or just don't like large gatherings. Create your own “event” every time you meet people.
10. Think about where you meet people the most comfortably in your life.  At church or synagogue?  At a party?  Playing sports? Carry that mindset and approach everywhere.  When it comes down to it, you meet people one-to-one even in a room of a thousand.

Success story. Here’s a great success that came as a result of my “How to Love Networking for Entrepreneurs” workshop, delivered onsite for companies and organizations and presented as a 4-week hourly teleclass.  At this workshop the guidelines above are enhanced with a fun 4-step process that transfers skills and success from an activity participants love to a personalized networking metaphor.  One participant, who abhorred networking (her words), increased her volume of face-to-face prospect meetings from 1 per week to 4.  This woman now loves networking based on her love of playing with her new puppy! 

Finally, perhaps the key point.  Choose to operate from a state of love vs. a state of fear.  Observe if, as you walk into a networking event, you feel distrustful, suspicious, tense, pressured to perform, resentful or desperate.  Focus on things in your life for which you are grateful, how your life is rich and ways you are special.  Choose to be open, welcoming, compassionate, generous, relaxed, and optimistic. 

Time to reassess your 1-10 ranking! Armed with a new definition and name for networking, new rules and approaches, on our scale of 1-10, how much do you love networking now? Notice that shift and any changes in your score and celebrate your accomplishment.  You’ve just been obstacle busting, reframing and renaming.  Now it’s time to take it on the road.  Happy Connecting!

If you’d like to increase your comfort and confidence in networking or reframe and overcome other obstacles, I’d love to help you. Email me and tell me, what is your biggest business obstacle?

Gail Sussman Miller, of Inspired Choice, teaches women solopreneurs how to love obstacles and to overcome them with ease.