This is a season that is packed with messages about being jolly, SHOPPING, spending, giving gifts, eat-drink-and-be-merry events, ending with New Year's resolutions and midnight celebrations. One thing that is true for many is that this time of year has more people interaction with company parties, family events, gatherings with friends, and religious observances.
While this season is meant to be joyful, the expectations of others can over stimulate many of us. This time of year can result in feelings of pressure, guilt, overwhelm, stress and obligation. Notice how the messages on the commercials, in the news, and in your social and family circle are external messages.
Here are 10 tips to make networking, or as I like to call it, "connecting," easier, more natural, more joy-filled and less stressful this holiday season.
These guidelines are designed to help you activate, listen and respond to your internal messages… some you might not even know you have. So, with each of these, read the suggestion and then get quiet and see what fits for you. Start with the one tip you relate to most and take one small step to design your best holiday season.
- Networking with yourself first. Networking is all about connection. Take time to reconnect with yourself, turn off your autopilot that is multi-tasking like crazy, probably for others, and focus on YOU. Set aside time for something special that is self-focused like a massage, jigsaw puzzles, a good book and a glass of wine, or journaling and celebrating your accomplishments and favorite memories this year. You will hear your intuition and great ideas may pop into your head, if you listen. Your inner child will notice the attention and you will feel calmer, more soulful and happier.
- Networking with others. What are the most important things you want in your life right now? What or who do you need to help you reach your goals? Create a "shopping list" for all the areas of your life, not just work. That might include a new hairstylist, a recommendation for a vacation, new clients, or advice or training to solve a challenge. As you connect with people during this season, see how there is something special about each person and what you might learn from them. How can you be generous and of service to them? And how might they be a fit with information or a connection to something on your shopping list?
- Company or work-related parties. Fight the temptation to use these events for major career strategizing or heavy selling and business promoting. See how you can actually bring more work success to you just by strengthening and deepening relationships. I recommend this approach all year long. Holiday parties are a good opportunity to find people more relaxed and friendly. Be genuinely curious and get to know people better. Ask meaningful questions about what they are celebrating this season and be the Real You.
- Family gatherings. Going home isn't always a Norman Rockwell greeting card painting. If your family tends to trigger tension, arguments, or sensitive issues for you, consider some ways to take care of yourself in advance. Start out with an attitude of gratitude for your family and appreciate the best in each of them. Consider ways you can limit the time of your visit. I you notice an uncomfortable situation erupting, you can go sit in a quiet area with your favorite aunt. Bring a photo album of your latest trip or remind the family of a fun shared memory or story. Simply take good care of yourself.
- Balance your calendar and energy. If you are blessed with a bounty of invitations to events this year, first you might want to be grateful. And of course you can create your own. Next to do a little balancing act. It all starts with you knowing who you are, what you need and want, what makes you happy, and how you operate best. You are the author of your owner's manual, so take a moment this holiday to make sure you take precautions to not overheat or burn out your engine. Set some limits and priorities. Consider the people you really want to be with, mix in one or two strategic business connections perhaps, and then say "no, thank you" to the rest. OR my favorite so as not to disappoint and when you really wish you had energy for it all, you can say "Yes, I want to be with you and I need to make a date with you in January when I'll have energy to spare and can really enjoy quality time with you!"
- Watch what you put in your tank. Another part o your energy management involves being mindful of you’re the fuel you feed your engine; food, sugar alcohol consumption. Availability doesn't mean you have to give up control. Know your limits and balance intake with exercise. Avoid joining in on conversations and the belief that this time of year must mean weight gain and loss of control. A great idea at events is to get involved in curious conversations away from the food table and drink sparkling water with lemon now and then. Focus on your opportunity for meaningful connections and fill the void inside you with giving and accepting the interest of others.
- Shop. Shop. Shop. One of the big expectations and sometimes pressures at this time of year, especially from advertisers, is about gift giving to family, friends, the mail carrier, your manicurist, clients and the dog next door. This leads to shopping and spending. Consider returning to the meaning of giving and see what would bring you, the giver the most joy, along with the happiness of the recipient. You might give a gift of service, a fun experience together, a home-cooked meal, or something handmade. This can reduce spending, help you "go green," activate your creativity, eliminate amassing "stuff" and reduce store returns in January, and will stimulate a loving, grateful feeling at the other end.
- New Year's Eve Celebrations. It's on everyone's lips… that question, "What are you doing for New Year's Eve?" For some that means you must have hot plans or be with a date or be somewhere other than home at the strike of midnight. Plan ahead for your ideal evening which might include playing Monopoly with a good friend, a series of videos to watch 'til you drop, or standing in the throngs of your city's main drag to cheer in the New Year. Remember that the shift from December 31st to January 1st is the passing of a minute on the clock, just like any other midnight of any other day. You get the opportunity to start a new year each day and can make it what you want.
- New Year's Resolutions. This one follows closely with the previous topic. Resolutions are so talked about that it could feel like pressure. We hear over and over that this is the time to review your year, plan for 2008, and take on new resolves. Taken in small steps, these are indeed great activities and do lead to a focus on desires and making room to create a life you want. To keep it from getting out of hand, consider my spin on resolutions. Notice that this word has at its root a cool message! Re-Soul U! Hmmm… set aside some daydreaming time to look at your desires and what makes you happy and return to your soul-centered place. Consider setting intentions vs. goals and a general direction you want to head vs. something fixed and overwhelming.
- Post-Holiday Mood Management. The parties are over, the gifts are being enjoyed or returned for exchanges, and the decorations are coming down. What about your mood? Your energy? This is a shift you can anticipate. Don't stare at a blank January calendar. Sprinkle in a few intimate dinners, good books, fun classes, or take a short trip. Take note and make that happy meter in your tummy soar!
So what will you choose to do to make the happy meter in your tummy soar?! Here's to a wonderful December that I hope you live to your heart's desire.
To learn more about Gail's techniques on how to love networking more, and attend a free teleclass, go to www.howtolovenetworking.com
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