How often do you join a team, start a new job, or strike up a friendship and find that along the way your expectations are not being met and disagreements arise? The key to emotional intelligence is to bring consciousness and awareness into your relationships. You can take proactive action by designing your alliances intentionally.
People are raised in different families, different cultures and hold different beliefs about human interaction. We operate with our own set of rules. Wouldn't it be great if we were born with an Owners Manual we could hand to others as we meet them?! Well you can. Get to know yourself, how you work best and what you need. Then find, design and build relationships that support the Real You. See how you can apply the tips listed below.
Imagine if, as in baseball game, there were common terms, processes, a common mission and agreed upon guidelines for behavior under all circumstances. Well, while business relationships don't need to be that structured, these concepts can be discussed and defined.
Designing your alliances is an important concept and a step taken in coach/coachee relationships. I recommend this practice for all relationships that matter. Marriage vows are an example we all have heard of. This is somewhat like a verbal agreement or contract on how the relationship will work best to serve all parties.
Tips. Raise your consciousness level and be intentional about your relationships or alliances. Especially in new situations, and even in a 20-year friendship, see how you can design your alliance by trying at least one of these practices:
- Avoid assumptions and respect that people have their own reasons for behavior
- Get clear on your expectations and discuss them to learn what others expect.
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Seek agreement on mission, roles, expectations, deliverables, and common guidelines for relating and working together. discuss seemingly obvious things and when a difference of opinion or work styles arises, look for a compromise for the "greater good" of the project, the team, the client, the company
Improve your interactions with others, reduce or avoid conflict, and be proactive by designing your relationships or alliances with this tool. Email Gail if you want more in depth guidance or to share this learning and potential with your team.
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