Inspired Choice

How Fear-Driven Habits Inhibit Success - M. Goldsmith

I am fascinated by the impact of fear on our behavior and how it limits success.  It's those times you don't act or scale back because you are worried about what "they" will think.  It's when we try too hard, cling to past successes, fail to give proper recognition and all those times you wanted to look good, sometimes at the expense of others.

In support of the power of boosting your emotional intelligence, here is more evidence.  Marshall Goldsmith captured proof in his work with the top 3% of leaders that bad interpersonal skills hold executives back from the success they desire.  His book, "What got You Here Won't Get You There," explains that success factors in an exemplary career will hit a wall one day.

He identified 20 bad habits that need to change to succeed.  Download Marshall Goldsmith 20 Bad Habits .  I believe most if not all of these behaviors are fear-driven. That's actually a relief! It's easier to learn to work through fear instead of working on 20 behaviors, right?

Gail recommends and teaches individuals, teams and leaders how to do this without a personality transplant!  Find out how Gail can help you transform and improve your interactions with others by boosting your emotional intelligence to get more done, with less conflict and stress and more success in a 30-minute complimentary consultation.  Email Gail now.

Proof Emotional Intelligence is Worth Boosting

The comments below reveal the immediate learning and applicability received from even an introduction to emotional intelligence.  These insights are from participants at a workshop on how to leverage and boost emotional intelligence at work for the Association Forum. 

In just over an hour, the 45 association professionals experienced first-hand a before and after review of one of their own challenging, conflict situations. They learned new approaches by using emotional intelligence tools and skills. Now you can learn to make your work relationships better and even more fun, too.

Here are comments on the value of the training received and what participants committed to do, think or "be" as a result to improve their relationships:

"I will incorporate into my daily life, personal and professional, [the practical tips].  I will listen better, not take things personally, not act in fear.  I'll be clear about what I want, take responsibility, and discuss issues using EQ (emotional intelligence)."  Mary T. Markovich

Emotional Intelligence Tool #3 -- Design Your Alliances

How often do you join a team, start a new job, or strike up a friendship and find that along the way your expectations are not being met and disagreements arise?   The key to emotional intelligence is to bring consciousness and awareness into your relationships.  You can take proactive action by designing your alliances intentionally.

People are raised in different families, different cultures and hold different beliefs about human interaction.  We operate with our own set of rules.  Wouldn't it be great if we were born with an Owners Manual we could hand to others as we meet them?!  Well you can.  Get to know yourself, how you work best and what you need.  Then find, design and build relationships that support the Real You.  See how you can apply the tips listed below.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Research suggests that a person's emotional intelligence (EQ) might be a greater predictor of success than his or her intellectual intelligence (IQ), despite an assumption that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life.  In 1995, psychologist Daniel Goleman popularized this term with his book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ.  (Source: www.ivillage.com)

Emotional intelligence is a set of skills that defines how effectively you perceive, understand, reason with and manage yours and other people's feelings and emotions.

 

The good news is emotional intelligence can be learned and improved and has a 2 to 1 success ratio over IQ and technical skills!

Contact Gail to receive more in depth guidance and to see how emotional intelligence can powerfully impact you in 5 areas of your career:  self-perception, self-expression, interpersonal interactions, decision making and stress management. **Continue reading to learn highlights of Daniel Goleman's research of top performing leaders.

 

Emotional Intelligence Tool #1 -- ME vs. THEM

This is not meant to be an adversarial "versus," rather a comparison of how we interpret what is about ourselves and what is about others.

I want you to think of a situation or relationship at work that often challenges your or seems to often bring up conflict.  Now, draw on your paper 2 stick figures; label one of them "Me" and the other label "Them."  In this situation,

Emotional Intelligence Tool #2 -- Conflict Management Worksheet

This is a tool you can use with others or as a way to privately help you take the charge or strong emotional reaction out of a situation.  Many situations we consider a conflict are really just a conversation where two people trigger strong reactions in one or both.  

The goal is to neutralize the event and separate out what your feelings are, your judgement or interpretation and what you need to move forward.  Fill in the blanks on the worksheet below as you learn new ways of thinking that will reduce conflicts.