What feelings come to mind when you think about the word “selling” or “sales” or “salesperson?” How do you feel when you imagine selling your skills, services and value in the market place? Can you feeling the “ick factor” kicking in?
Attitudes about sales. Whether you are a job seeker, career builder or entrepreneur, you may experience a lack of confidence, discomfort and negative self talk when you think about selling. Some people think sales must include trickery, sleaze, canned sales pitches, manipulation, and pressure. Some believe sales means having to “make” someone do something or that people have to be convinced, coerced, incented, and lulled into participation.
We all sell, even you! Selling is at the core of most activities in your life that involve relationships. You are selling when you, ask your team to help you complete a project, tell your prospects what you offer, enlist a co-worker (child or parent) in letting you help them, negotiate a choice of restaurants with friends or design a change in a fitness habit to be healthier (relationship with Self).
It’s all a matter of perspective. Get ready to experience a shift in thinking, beliefs and your mindset about selling! Read the 4 perspective shifts below with an open mind and allow yourself to experience a new perspective. NOTE: These are deep concepts. The ideas are simple. Applying them in your life and making these thoughts and practices habit will take some effort.
SPECIAL OFFER! To help make this easier and avoid writing a 10-page article, join me for a 2-part no-cost “How to Love Selling” teleclasses. I’ll teach you how to apply these perspectives so you can engage people in your mission and sell without selling to boost your career or business! Go here to get dates, details and sign up.
Imagine having a mission statement. This gives you a filter for making decisions on how you spend your precious time, money, and relationships. It’s like having a budget for spending or a daily goal on calorie intake.
Having a sense of purpose and direction that you choose, believe and FEEL influences how you show up, speak up, move up with more courage and energy. You engage your listener and reveal your authentic, unique, memorable (and referable) abilities.
Omigosh Validation. I defined my mission in the last year and now it influences and inspires my choices. The power of being mindful of your mission was just reconfirmed for me one hour before finishing this article! I had a casual conversation with a business owner who asked innocently enough, “What’s new?” I chose to tell him how I am acting on my mission by delivering coaching inside companies. That touched a nerve and uncovered a business need for possibly helping him engage and enrich his employees next week!
What is my mission, you ask? I am on the planet to help businesses and their human assets get to better solutions sooner with more joy and collaboration. I serve this mission by teaching people how to create more meaningful conscious relationships with their Self and others by being more accepting, forgiving, inclusive, and trusting.
Let your mission be your GPS (your guidance system) and drive your career or business with course corrections as needed. Your thoughts, feelings, actions and results will be in alignment. You will be happier and more successful with less effort! (See the Tips and Tools Section for ideas on how to start developing your mission statement.)
Perspective Shift #2 – Be Consultive. To genuinely listen, care and understand what people want, you need to be curious and consultive. Find out what others need rather than push your agenda and mind read.
Consider this question to be your anchor, your guide. Ask others some variation of, “Where does it hurt? How can I help?” Use this in conversations while networking, interviewing, marketing and planning. This question helps you be empathetic and focus on what your prospect, boss, hiring company, or spouse need. Even if you can’t help directly, see what you can do to help. Be prepared for this question to uncover opportunities!
Perspective Shift #3 – Take Your Self Out of the Formula; Act for the Sake of Others. So many clients, especially job seekers and those who are dating (yes, dating), feel that they are selling themselves. It feels very personal. That brings discomfort, thoughts of not measuring up, and fear of rejection. Sound familiar? This is often why people don’t like asking for help.
Here’s a great shift that empowered me to easily ask for introductions and advice without guilt or shame, without feeling I have to prove myself or that my request is worthwhile.
Start by seeing how it feels to ask, “Can you help ME to get more clients for MY business?” The focus is on you and your Self. Networking workshop participants tell me they feel selfish, needy or greedy when they ask for help.
Now, take your “Self” out of the formula. This reduces the risk of personalizing a “no” reply. AND it happens to be a great selling technique! Reframe your focus and mindset by asking, “Can you connect me to ABC target audiences so I can help them achieve XYZ results?” Ah hah! Now the focus is on others. Notice the difference in how you feel? This can feel self-less, generous, noble and darn right righteous! It is so motivating. You are simply asking others to jump on your bandwagon for the sake of others!
Perspective Shift #4 – Seek Agreement. Seeking agreement can be natural, easy and downright loving. Step into a mindset of being curious, caring, unattached to the outcome, generous, collaborative and open. Consider these assumptions.
- Most interactions with the humans in your life involve conversations
- Most conversations about achieving a common goal involve seeking agreement
- Seeking agreement is imperative in relationships where you want to be in integrity with your values, be your true Self and experience harmony, cooperation, and productive partnerships.
- And, by the way, it’s a great selling technique!
Let’s focus on how to have a selling conversation without the sales! Imagine having a consultive conversation (Perspective Shift #2) in which you ask questions to determine a problem that needs attention. You need to listen for unspoken issues, express genuine concern, suspend judgment (tough one and one of my better articles here), and educate your audience on options within your expertise. You map out a plan, define roles and responsibilities, equally sharing responsibility for the outcome, consequences and rewards, and reach an agreement. Done deal without the ick factor.
This works to engage a team, a prospect or to get your 4-year old to go potty!
SPECIAL OFFER: My mission is to help you shift perspectives so you can create more acceptance of your Self and others so you reach your career goals sooner, better, and more deeply. To help you really learn to love selling and apply these 4 perspective shifts, I’m offering a no-cost 2-part “How to Love Selling” telephone class. The teleclass is 9/8 and 9/22 at noon CT. This will add value to your work whether you are in sales, building a career or business. Go here to sign up and get your instructions for the call.
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